FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
