I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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