Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
