I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
