i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
