First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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