I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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