it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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