can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
