Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
