please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
