we have pet lesbian snakes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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