Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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