Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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