oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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