Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
