if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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