I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
