he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
