Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
