its not stalking. its research.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
