I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
