go do what you do best...puke behind churches
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
