it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
