hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
