she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
