you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
