I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
