oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
