me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
