I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
