Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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