but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
