think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
