just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
