I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
