well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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