if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
