we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
