Pappa wants mamma naked
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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