i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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