Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm lost and stupid without you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
