I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
