I'm eating all of the evidence.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
