With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
