just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
