I puked a lego.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
