Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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