with your own penis?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
