Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
