do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
