i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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